Reading Rampage

One of my favorite classes from my time as an English major at the University of Dallas was a J-Term class called the Art of the English Sentence. Part of the homework for every class, basically every day, was to imitate the grammatical structure of a sentence written by a great author, but change all the words. This is not exactly that, but ever since that class I’ve always thought this kind of thing was fun, because it’s basically a puzzle.

One day I walked into an unnamed toddler’s room and saw books everywhere. I said out loud, “What’d you do, go on a reading rampage?” Then, immediately, I thought of LeVar Burton and a new rendition of this theme song started to form in my head. If you’re old enough, you shouldn’t have to relisten, but I recommend it anyway. I hope you sing this in your head the rest of the day.

Below you’ll find my imitation. To hear the original lyrics, click on the video linked above.

Reading Rampage

I barely had to try, I just made my Dad cry
Got the books, and undertook,
A Reading Rampage!

I threw books everywhere
High and low, where I don’t know
A Reading Rampage!

I just “read” everything
Dad’s head shook, gave me the look
A Reading Rampage
Reading Rampage!